What is it about a child crying that makes an adult go berseck and lose control? I'm no master at patience and understanding when the situation is like this. My eldest daughter cries a lot. She cries when she's not the center of attention,she cries when we are at home, she cries when her younger sister taunts her.
Last night, while hubby and I are eating dinner, she made that ghastly loud piercing cry, which really broke my hubby's patient demeanor. I intervened because I took pity already. The main reason of her crying episode, which she barely able to mutter is that ali (her sister) "kurot me". Hay. Is this sibling rivalry already? I had to also reprimand my other daughter because its not good to hurt people. Im sad to say that even if I read a lot of parenting books about smart parenting, what to expect the toddler years, etc. my hubby and I are always caught off guard. I really get angry at times, much to my dismay. I find comfort in knowing that these too shall pass. Wishing that we come out better, wiser, and closer in faith and love!
Have you been in this situation before? What did you do?
--Wondermom A.
Showing posts with label child care. Show all posts
Showing posts with label child care. Show all posts
Monday, October 4, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
How to Have Good, Reliable Child Care Support ("Yayas")
My two "yayas" who were taking care of my children last year did not go back at the start of 2010 for family and personal reasons...at the shortest possible notice...they only confirmed it on dec. 29 (or maybe i was just in denial)...and my husband and I are on panic mode
Fast forward to today...my mother was able to get "yayas" from our province in arayat pampanga...my learning from our experience:
1. Get reliable recommendations from relatives - yayas i believe should come from families that you know so that they would not just leave you as they please without considering your situation and your's child's transition to another yaya...It helps that they were recommended by titas, cousins, and that you know their family background so its easier to discipline them as well...but im not saying that relatives cant go wrong...its just that its much easier to negotiate with them because their "relatives".. im not saying also that non-relatives cant be trusted...my learning from this experience is that getting good yayas are trial and error, you just have to keep finding the perfect match for your family.
2. Get valuable support from grandparents, siblings - I am so much thankful for having my mother and mother in law to help us while we were looking for yayas...my mother was the one who went to our province to get yayas and my mother in law is the one taking care of my children at the moment while my hubby and i are working...having them is really a blessing..priceless : ) Its also good that they are there to supervise the yayas until they are already "trained" on how to take care of our children. Also, during weekends, i ask help from my younger siblings...its a plus that our family is an extended one...you're not alone on emergency child care.
3. Train them as much as possible - You can never expect your yayas to have the same care and concern you have for your children..they can only do so much given all your instructions everyday...I have already accepted my role to remind them always if there are lapses in tasks and to patiently (as much as I can) instruct them on what to do on certain situations...Its also a must to train them on emergency situations, who to contact, list of emergency numbers to call, etc...
4. Give them space - its very tiring to care for 2 toddlers, i almost literally gave up on my children during the Christmas break, they're so much "hyper" that its so tiring at the end of the day, you cant put on a smiling face anymore. That's why during weekends its better if your yayas have a short break from taking care of your children so that at the start of the week, they wont feel tired and grouchy to your children. They still have the energy to play with them, teach them school work, how to speak, and how to show good manners at the least, whew...a challenging task even for me.
5. reward them for good performance - its good to reward yayas for their good performance. increase their salary every year, given them non-monetary benefits like day off at least 2x a month, vacation leave at least once a year, free transportation to province, xmas bonus, birthday gifts, birthday leave, free annual physical exam, SSS contribution, philhealth contribution, among others...I gave all of these to my former yaya but still they opted to have their own goals for this year, which I dont blame them. Its good to keep them happy as they will be more than willing to take care of children.
I hope my two new yayas will stay longer with us...
What are your experiences in finding child care support?
Fast forward to today...my mother was able to get "yayas" from our province in arayat pampanga...my learning from our experience:
1. Get reliable recommendations from relatives - yayas i believe should come from families that you know so that they would not just leave you as they please without considering your situation and your's child's transition to another yaya...It helps that they were recommended by titas, cousins, and that you know their family background so its easier to discipline them as well...but im not saying that relatives cant go wrong...its just that its much easier to negotiate with them because their "relatives".. im not saying also that non-relatives cant be trusted...my learning from this experience is that getting good yayas are trial and error, you just have to keep finding the perfect match for your family.
2. Get valuable support from grandparents, siblings - I am so much thankful for having my mother and mother in law to help us while we were looking for yayas...my mother was the one who went to our province to get yayas and my mother in law is the one taking care of my children at the moment while my hubby and i are working...having them is really a blessing..priceless : ) Its also good that they are there to supervise the yayas until they are already "trained" on how to take care of our children. Also, during weekends, i ask help from my younger siblings...its a plus that our family is an extended one...you're not alone on emergency child care.
3. Train them as much as possible - You can never expect your yayas to have the same care and concern you have for your children..they can only do so much given all your instructions everyday...I have already accepted my role to remind them always if there are lapses in tasks and to patiently (as much as I can) instruct them on what to do on certain situations...Its also a must to train them on emergency situations, who to contact, list of emergency numbers to call, etc...
4. Give them space - its very tiring to care for 2 toddlers, i almost literally gave up on my children during the Christmas break, they're so much "hyper" that its so tiring at the end of the day, you cant put on a smiling face anymore. That's why during weekends its better if your yayas have a short break from taking care of your children so that at the start of the week, they wont feel tired and grouchy to your children. They still have the energy to play with them, teach them school work, how to speak, and how to show good manners at the least, whew...a challenging task even for me.
5. reward them for good performance - its good to reward yayas for their good performance. increase their salary every year, given them non-monetary benefits like day off at least 2x a month, vacation leave at least once a year, free transportation to province, xmas bonus, birthday gifts, birthday leave, free annual physical exam, SSS contribution, philhealth contribution, among others...I gave all of these to my former yaya but still they opted to have their own goals for this year, which I dont blame them. Its good to keep them happy as they will be more than willing to take care of children.
I hope my two new yayas will stay longer with us...
What are your experiences in finding child care support?
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